'Who Watches The Watchmen?'

I studied the bitter genius Juvenal for A level; never thought I'd end up actually being in his poem "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

After the unannounced visit from a West Mercia sergeant on July 11th - effectively a police raid on behalf of the local Conservative party - I decided to draw a deep breath and make a complaint to the Chief Constable of WM Police and copy it to the Independent Police Complaints Commission.

Ok, the cops didn't break my arm or keep me in overnight, but they had no legitimate reason for what they did. So here is the complaint.


I'll keep you posted...

Ipsa facto? That's a secret!

The new Parliamentary watchdog IPSA has just announced that the names of any MP it investigates for misconduct will be kept secret.
Well - that's just what happens to you or me if the police investigate us, or we're taken to court, isn't it?


The old watchdog - the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards - was quite open about his investigations, see this public log of inquiries. Sadly, he has been told to stop taking new cases.


This means that, if Denis McShane and Margaret Moran get nicked, and David Wilshere stays ill, Bill Wiggin will be the last MP to be investigated under a transparent process.
What d'you mean you've forgotten what he's being investigated for? Hang on a mo, so have I: let's have a quick shufti.

"that cllr Miller do be hanged by the neck until he is a tame pussycat & furthermoreover...

You see, it's often the pompous, bombastic gobbledyspeak that gets these political types hoisted. "In its entirety" for example.

I mean, once you've voted to pass something to the authorities "in its entirety" it has to be passed warts and all. Or forgeries and all...

EMAIL SENT 26^TH JULY TO ALL COUNCILLORS WHO ATTENDED THE JULY 7^TH WITCH TRIAL

Dear councillor,

Attached are the minutes of the Special Meeting of July 7th; at this meeting you voted to pass a report with recommendations about me, in its entirety, to the Herefordshire Standards Committee.
As you are now aware that report with recommendations has since been shown to be a forgery.

I am giving you the opportunity to withdraw your stated desire of July 7th for the Standards Committee to take action against me, in your name, on the basis of a forged document.
You can let me know that you wish to withdraw your name or alternatively H---- D-----, who liaises with the Standards Committee and whose email address is hd------@herefordshire.gov.uk

.

If neither of us hears from you we may assume that you still wish action to be taken against me, in your name, on the basis of a forged report and recommendations.

Yours faithfully,

Jim Miller

"A lift to the polling station in our squad car, madam?"

There's a Council by-election in Hereford.


It seems, from this election leaflet dropping through letterboxes, that you can vote for the Conservative Party AND West Mercia Police with one cross of the pencil!


Puts the Met's corruption into the shade a bit, don't you think?

Let me tell you a (whistlestop) story

For those of you who have arrived late and are thinking "What the &^*% is going on here???" and want to to understand the way this blog illustrates how the corruption in the Halls of Westminster is mirrored in the corruption in the village halls of Dibley and Leominster.

Here is a simple Synopsis of the key events since the Daily Telegraph first named my MP Bill Wiggin in May 2009.

No jokes here, but informative, I hope you'll agree...

How To Bring Down Your MP pt 4

Here it is:
CHAPTER FOUR: THE RETURNING OFFICER'S MESS

(Rushed it a bit, just noticed a stray apostrophe, will excise later!)

How To Bring Down Your MP pt 3

is here:
CHAPTER THREE: 'A PLOY NAMED SUE'


For previous episodes here are
Chapter One  and Chapter Two

The curious incident of the cat that miaowed in the night

"The curious incident being that the cat did not miaow, Watson".


Now that West Mercia police are involved in what's been going on down here, I thought it best to bring in a shamus.
Tedstone 'chums call me Ted' Delamere is the sharpest private eye in Herefordshire and - since he's family - I'll get a deal.


He's famous for solving two of the most baffling cases the county has ever known:

THE MYSTERY OF THE BROWN LAWN

                               and

THE MYSTERY OF THE PAINTED GARDEN
                                 

My favourite Buzzcocks' song: Time's Up

It's more than a week since I asked the Mayor who the forger is who defamed me to the Council's Kangaroo Court of July 7th, and asked that the forger honourably resign.

Last night I gave the Mayor one last chance at full Town Council meeting. As soon as I mentioned the word "forgery" he suspended the meeting.

So that's that, then: the Bill Wiggin Fan Club would prefer the involvement of the police.

Maybe they're banking on the police who intimidated me on Bill Wiggin MP's behalf dropping this complaint down the back of their rather slim 'case closed' filing cabinet?

Guess we're about to find out...

Daring raid frees Blog

In an audacious dawn raid on a security van on the outskirts of Hereford a Blog which was being transported to a high-security facility has been freed.

The raiders were describes as "heavily disguised: they wore black top hats with feathers in them, had threatening bells attached to their knees and were armed with long sticks bearing multicoloured ribbons". A tambourine was used against the security guards

Police believe the gang may strike again - possibly at the Autumn Equinox - and have issued the following papers to explain why the escaped Blog is a danger to, well, er, the police.

POLICE ORDER: THIS BLOG CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

After intensive co-operation between coalition govt Whip Bill Wiggin & West Mercia police, and using special powers first constituted in the Second World War, parliament tonight rushed through the "EMERGENCY POWERS: 'ALTERATION OF A WIKIPEDIA PAGE' ACT 2011.

Under the new Act West Mercia Police ( recently rebranded as the more customer-friendly WestenMark Schutztstaffel) have reluctantly closed this Blog.

An officer will remain at the scene to move people on and tell them there is "nothing to see here" whilst filming them for purely recreational purposes.

"You're nicked, Right Honourable mate!"

On the three occasions Hereford police have come round to intimidate us, they've claimed that they have no choice but to investigate every allegation made against someone. No doubt that will be the excuse, when I meet an Inspector next week, for them investigating Bill Wiggin MP's crackpot allegations against me.

So, of course, this time I'll have my own list of allegations which - if Hereford police are men of their word - they will be obliged to treat seriously:

ALLEGATIONS AGAINST BILL WIGGIN MP

- After the death earlier this year of Osama Bin Laden he assumed leadership of the Al-Qaida terror network at a secret ceremony held in Leominster Masonic Lodge

- In the early 1980s, accompanied by Eton schoolmates known only as “Cammers” and “Osbo” he broke into BBC Television Centre and vandalised the Blue Peter Garden

- He recently attempted to steal the Stone of Scone and return it to Westminster Abbey. The crime was only thwarted when he was unable to find Scotland.

- He killed Shergar, everybody knows that!

- He repeatedly committed arson in a Royal DockYard to the extent that there are almost no Royal Dockyards remaining.

- He wore a burka on the Champs Elysees. You're just not allowed to do that.

- The Fall of the Roman Empire, by some appalling kind of psychic back projection.

- Attempting to persuade a sitting Pontiff to delete the ‘happy ending’ from the New Testament.

- Colluding with Stephen Hawking to destroy existence itself by creating a 4” diameter  Black Hole in the Masonic Lodge, Leominster

- He was observed traversing the City Road in both directions, repeatedly entering, leaving and then re-entering the Eagle public house. He then, in broad daylight, popped the weasel 

How To Bring Down Your MP 2

CHAPTER 2 'JIM'LL AIRFIX IT FOR YOU'

Parental Advisory: contains precisely one baker's dozen of words formerly considered obscenitous.
Nae bairns, y'ken?

How To Bring Down Your MP

Everything you are about to read is entirely fictitious.
And oh, how I wish that were true.

CHAPTER 1 'WILL WIGAN: HIS PART IN MY DOWNFALL'

Bill Wiggin's crackpot 'allegations'

Ok, I'm going to take these allegations by my MP Bill Wiggin - made against me under the Protection From Harrassment Act and served on me by West Mercia police force yesterday in a frightening, unannounced morning visit to my family home - one by one.
The allegations by Mr Wiggin that make any sense in the English language, that is.

1: I "claimed he has rigged public meetings".
About five thousand local folk have made the same claim, because about five thousand have seen this Hereford Times video on youtube.
This was the only meeting Mr Wiggin ever held to explain his false expenses. The meeting said "Open To All" but only a couple of minutes in you can hear Wiggin's bouncer - Brigadier Peter Jones - saying "I'm sorry I can't let you in unless you've been specifically invited by Bill".

2: I "accused him of attempting to block my election to the local council"
The Daily Telegraph's Jon Swaine is still waiting for Mr Wiggin to sue him over this entirely false story: 'Wiggin Steps In To Silence Candidate'.
It's been a long wait.

3. I "accused him on the internet of being corrupt"
Wait a tic - can someone check if we are on the internet? We are?
Ok: Bill Wiggin is corrupt. Next.

4: I "accused him of fraudulently avoiding Council Tax"
Be careful, Mr Wiggin. I accused you of fraudulently claiming council tax, in expenses, from the Fees Office.
Actually, it wasn't me, it was the Parliamentary Committee on Standards and Ethics in their 72-page Report on Bill Wiggin MP 2010
But you don't have to wade through that! Why not take Mr Wiggin's own word that he overclaimed council tax, something that normally acquires a criminal record?
You see, in order to get the Sunday Mirror to agree with the Press Complaints Commission that the 4 1/2 grand he paid back last October WASN'T for his phantom mortgage, he told the PCC that the repayment was for expenses and council tax.
Clever Mr Wiggin: catching himself bang to rights there.

Ever wondered...

...what the sound of corrupt politicians digging sounds like?

It sounds a lot like this letter received this morning from the Town Council.
My reply is below.

Which do we think Benson Ferrari is: corrupt or frightened? I'm guessing the latter as he is in his early twenties.

"Dear Councillor Jones,

Your letter to me (attached) contains two lies.

Firstly, that the document referred to was "initialled" in Cllr Ferrari's name.
It was not. A full forged signature was written on the document.

Secondly, that Cllr Ferrari agreed to this action in advance. You may have prevailed upon him to say that now; I have documentary proof that Cllr Ferrari did not approve of the forgery in advance.

In light of your lies I have no course of action but the following: if, by close of business today, I have not received the name of the forger and their resignation from Leominster Town Council I will ask for a police investigation.

Yours faithfully,

Cllr Jim Miller"

Corruption

Right at the top of British politics and down here at the bottom: rancid. People like my dad who fought in the Second World War would wonder why they ****ing bothered.

This morning I emailed the following to our (unelected) Mayor. No doubt they are already huddled in a room figuring out which lie they can get away with.

Dear Mayor of Leominster,

As you will now be aware, a forged document was presented to Town Councillors last week. Since the purpose of the document was to blacken my reputation and persuade councillors to report me to the Standards Commission, the forgery is malicious and very serious.

I think – just – that this appalling business can be settled without calling in the police force.

Via email and also face to face I have asked the Chairman of the Personnel Committee, cllr Brigadier Peter Jones, to tell me who the forger is. He has refused to answer. As the Chairman who presented the forgery to cllrs, Cllr Jones must - at the very least - resign from the Personnel Committee as he is no longer a fit and proper person to serve the Council in that capacity.

As Mayor, and also as a co-signatory of the forged document, you must know the process whereby the forgery was presented. Accordingly you can easily and swiftly ascertain (if you do not already know) who the forger is. Please make this information available to myself and all other cllrs as a matter of great urgency.

If the forger is a Town Councillor then that person, if they are mindful of the good name of Leominster and its representative body, must now resign from the Council.

Yours faithfully,

Still pretty shaken

My MP Bill Wiggin sent the police round to my house this morning. The sergeant filmed me without my permission and refused to leave the premisses when I asked.

He warned me to cease campaigning against the MP and served this complaint on me.
My wife was unwell in bed and heard everything. It was awful.

Forging ahead

A brief flurry of interesting emails this evening. As always, please read from the bottom up!
http://www.yourconvenience.co.uk/BFerrariConundrum.pdf

I've been dealt a very poor hand...

On Thursday, while I was safely on my hols in Inverary, the Town Council held a secret witch trial to put yrs truly firmly in his place. Regulars will remember that, after I was elected on Friday May 6th, the Town Clerk made a formal complaint against me of bullying and harrassment on Tuesday May 10th (yes, that's one working day - I get harrassing fast, you know!)

Here's the charge sheet they sent me last month, followed by the 'Summary' they presented to Council on Thursday night: http://www.yourconvenience.co.uk/WitchTrial.pdf

Now word in the local is that one of the sleuths who signed both docs - Cllr Benson Ferrari - was on holiday last week. But that can't be true, otherwise how could he sign this??

What I think happened was that he did book a holiday, but had to cancel it as he fell dreadfully ill. Just look at the complete difference in his two signatures on these documents - that is what serious life threatening illness can do to a man's handwriting.

This blog's concerned best wishes go to Cllr Benson.

Service Announcement

Am in the Highlands this week busy with haggis suppers and Caol Ila whisky. Normal service resumed Monday morning!