"The curious incident being that the cat did not miaow, Watson".
Now that West Mercia police are involved in what's been going on down here, I thought it best to bring in a shamus.
Tedstone 'chums call me Ted' Delamere is the sharpest private eye in Herefordshire and - since he's family - I'll get a deal.
He's famous for solving two of the most baffling cases the county has ever known:
THE MYSTERY OF THE BROWN LAWN
and
THE MYSTERY OF THE PAINTED GARDEN